Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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