I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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