this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
