So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
