My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
