i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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