im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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