My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
