I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
