Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
