I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
