No, you can still breathe under the balls.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
