You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
