I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
