I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
