You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
