either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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