We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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