We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
