I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
