just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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