remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
