i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
