Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
