yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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