you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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