I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
