fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
