I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
