So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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