Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
