New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
