i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
