she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
