? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
