I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
