You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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