just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
