PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
