I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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