Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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