shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think my mom watched the whole time
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
