Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it because I queefed?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
