so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
