i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
