It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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