I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
