She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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