a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
