Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
