Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My liver just had a heart attack.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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